Things are still fairly slow or actually completely still. I’ve been in a really dark place with these health concerns of mine. I still haven’t figured out or any of the doctors, chiropractors, physiotherapists I’ve seen during the past 6-7 months haven’t figured out why my left hand and left foot are numb or tingling 24/7. At least I can breathe a little easier now after paying the money and having that head MRI earlier this week. That was a damn scary experience, but thankfully everything was normal. So at least I can now quit spending my nights googling brain tumor symptoms, because based on my recent experience, I can definitely confirm that if you are looking for something to do during the night. Sleeping is definitely a better option than googling brain tumor and multiple sclerosis symptoms. Anyway, I hope I can put this thing behind me sometime soon and start focusing on the blog… and well just focusing on living actually and not just being worried all the time. Being sure that it’s not the head that is causing this is definitely a major step forward and makes everything a whole lot easier. However, I would still love to get a diagnose and be 100% sure what actually is causing this. This shit isn’t normal and it only seems to get worse. Perhaps I just have to get that neck, cervical spine MRI done as well, just to be sure there isn’t something fucked up there like a pinned nerve or a herniated disk. That’s just another 600-700€ and I’ve already spent more than 1500€ to all kinds of treatments that haven’t gotten me anywhere. I could have bought a lot of records with that money…

The thing that has kept me somewhat sane during these dark times is the new John Moreland album High On Tulsa Heat, which I love wholeheartedly. I’ve spent some pretty heavy nights listening to that record and finally falling asleep 3-4am with the headphones still on. Especially during these last few weeks when I was waiting for that head MRI and the results, that record was one of the few things that kept me from getting some serious panic attacks. It’s obviously the new album of the month and hopefully I manage to write a full piece about it at some point. Here’s Losing Sleep Tonight from that great album. It’s not the best song on the album (still gorgeous of course), but it fits well to this silly and extremely personal blog post, because I’ve been indeed losing a lot of sleep during the past months. Check out the whole album at Bandcamp.

John Moreland at Bandcamp